Politics of Parenting Styles

My message to all those tired mummies out there.

Parenting style is a bit like politics and religion in my world these days, it’s so sensitive and ultimately we all try our best.

Pick the method that feels right for you! …. that has to be the ‘right’ approach.

Every family has different circumstances and preferred styles.

Mothers intuition is all well and good, although it’s not always easy when we’re so tired.

Each baby is different and first time round i did find it helpful to read and have a little structure to my thinking.

I did put pressure on myself though and constantly felt if I couldn’t separate us at ‘falling asleep time’ or (be a good sleep trainer) then I was failing!!! Or Building a rod and all that!

It was the Gina Ford generation at the time and actually I did get some useful tips from reading books about routine eg understanding that babies do need to sleep every two hours and feed so regularly whilst growing so much! It helped manage my expectations a little.

From what I have learnt by watching my two, they simply do things when they are ready to and anything forced has been exhausting and usually only lasts until the next ‘phase’ So doing what feels right each day is now the way forwards in this house hold.

Sadly babies aren’t designed to fit into with our schedule / convenience but we can help them along the way …. hurrah!!

A full night sleep is all I want for my next birthday

Babies do take quite a while to adapt to our Circadian rhythm …. (Adults pattern of Night and day)

… so try not to put yourself under any extra pressure to rush through it. It is a gradual process.

We can however help them understand day/night, light/dark, quiet/awake which helps them integrate into our rhythm.

This is all coming from a ‘still very tired’ co sleeper of an 18 month old  by the way ….. from 1am almost every morning, 3 am is unusual.

That has been my chosen method, I can’t face pacing the corridor and at least when I do co sleep my eyes can be shut (beats standing up).

So …. my message to you is simply take the pressure off and lower your expectations if you’re being hard on yourselves!

It is bloomin tough some days, thank goodness for the wonderful other days.

And it’s easy to be this diplomatic in theory where as what we all really want to say is

Taking little snippets of me time is important. It’s not self indulgence its self respect. We are no good to any one of we let ourselves get burnt out.

I get my sanity from a love in my life which is Pilates and Yoga. Even gentle movement helps my endorphins flow and my heart pump and helps me feel semi human even for a little while.

If you can come along to my studio and join a ‘Mum and Baby’ specific Pilates class (if you’re in Herts and Bucks)  or sign up for an online 6 week Restorative Pilates program for you to work though at home.

These classes are designed to restore your body and mind postnatally and for even the tiredest of mummy’s, it feels so good to get moving!